ComputerJy World

Created by: OnlinePhD.org

• Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
• There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one.
• The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king. Fetch him beers.
• In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
• Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
• Request the late checkout.
• When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
• Do not get married before you can legally drink.
• Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
• Do not fill up on bread.
• When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.
• Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
• If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
• Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
• You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.
• Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.
• Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
• Never be afraid to ask out the best-looking girl in the room.
• Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
• Do not show off. Impress.

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by The California Department of Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at The same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

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