Words of Wisdom by Steven Wright

Some words of wisdom by Steven Wright

  • All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
  • The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  • OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  • How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
  • When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  • Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
  • Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
  • Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
  • I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
  • Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. Continue reading

An Online Test to Freak You Out

This is truly bizarre.

Follow the instructions!

NO PEEKING AHEAD!

Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!

Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them ... really.

  1. Think of a number from 1 to 10.
  2. Multiply that number by 9.
  3. If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together.
  4. Now subtract 5.
  5. Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the final number(example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c, etc.)
  6. Think of a country that starts with that letter.
  7. Remember the last letter in the name of that country.
  8. Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter.
  9. Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.
  10. Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?

If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise.

Freaky, huh?

Photoshop trolls

Here are some images that have been photoshopped at the request of people wanting to look better than they  look in their photo.

Request: "I want to look like the son of a powerful politician!"
Chinese-photoshop-005-05212013

Chinese-photoshop-006-05212013

Request: "My friend behind me looks a little dull. Can you make him more dramatic?"
Chinese-photoshop-007-05212013

Chinese-photoshop-008-05212013

Request: "Make me hot shi*t on the net, please!"
Chinese-photoshop-001-05212013

Chinese-photoshop-002-05212013

Request: "I want to look more dangerous."
Chinese-photoshop-003-05212013

Chinese-photoshop-004-05212013

Continue reading