Men vs. Women

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

———-
EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

———-
MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

———-
BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

———-
ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

———-
CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

———-
FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

———-
SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

———-
MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

———-
DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

———-
NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

———-
OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

———-
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Things You Wouldn’t Know Without Movies

Here’s a list of things you wouldn’t know if it wasn’t for movies:

  • It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
  • A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
  • If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
  • Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
  • It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening way until you have knocked out their predecessors.
  • When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
  • No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
  • Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
  • When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
  • You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
  • Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
  • An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
  • Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

Artificial QuickSort

People, there is a new sorting algorithm in town.. well it’s not that new it’s
been here since 2004 but I’ve just heard about it

It’s called the “Artificial
QuickSort algorithm” and it goes like:

#include <stdio.h>
#include <windows.h>

int array[20000000];

int Rnd(int x1, int x2) {

int x = x2 – x1 + 1;
int m = (rand() % x) + x1;
int n = (rand() % x) + x1;
m = (32000*m + n) % x;
return m;
}

void ArtificialQuickSort(int array[], int nor) {

int levi[256];
int desni[256];

int index = 0; int i = 0; int j = 0;
int left = 0; int right = 0; int meja = 0;
int left1 = 0; int right1 = 0;
int temp1 = 0; int temp2 = 0; int temp = 0;

left = 0; right = nor-1;

while (left < right){
if (array[left] > array[right]) {
temp = array[left];
array[left] = array[right];
array[right] = temp;
}
left++; right–;
}

index = 0; levi[index] = 0; desni[index] = nor-1;

while ( index >= 0 ) {
left = levi[index]; right = desni[index];
temp = right – left;
if ( temp > 15 ) {

// Main section of ArtificialQuickSort ——————————————-
temp1 = array[left];
for ( j = left+1; j <= right; j++) {
temp2 = array[j];
if ( temp2 < temp1) {
meja = ( temp1 + temp2 + 1 ) >> 1;
if ( array[ (left + right) >> 1 ] > meja ) {
meja = array[ (left + right) >> 1 ];
}
left1 = left;
right1 = right;
for (;;) {
while ( array[right1] >= meja ) right1–;
while ( array[left1] < meja ) left1++;
if (left1>right1) break;

temp = array[right1];
array[right1–] = array[left1];
array[left1++] = temp;
}
desni[index] = –left1;
levi[++index] = ++right1;
desni[index] = right;
goto labelcritticall5;
}
temp1=temp2;
}
// End of the main section of ArtificialQuickSort ——————————–

} else {

if ( temp != 0 ) {

// InsertionSort ———————————————————–
temp1 = array[left];
for ( i = left+1; i <= right; ++i ) {
temp2 = array[i];
if ( temp1 > temp2 ) {
array[i] = temp1;
for ( j = i-1; j > left; ) {
temp = array[j-1];
if ( temp > temp2 ) array[j–] = temp; else break;
}
array[j] = temp2;
} else {
temp1 = temp2;
}
}
// End of InsertionSort —————————————————–

}
}
index–;
labelcritticall5:;

}

}

int main() {

int i,n, timtim;

int NumberOfRec = 20000000;

printf (“\n Artificial QuickSort\n\n”);

printf (” Number of records = %d\n\n”,NumberOfRec);

for (n=10000000; n>=0; n/=10) {

printf (” Data = Rnd[%9d,%9d] … “,-n,n);

if (n==0) {
for (int i=0; i
array[i] = 0;
}
} else {
for (i=0; i<NumberOfRec; i++) {
array[i] = Rnd(1,n)-Rnd(1,n);
}
}

printf (“Sorting … “);

timtim = GetTickCount();

ArtificialQuickSort(array, NumberOfRec);

printf (“Elapsed = %5d ms\n”, GetTickCount()-timtim);

if (n==0) break;
}

system(“pause”);

return 0;
}

Really good job, I don’t know why they never taught us this algorithm in college