Simpsons Quotes

  • Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  • Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to Home Simpsonget one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
  • What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.
  • I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
  • Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
  • Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me?
  • I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
  • Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
  • Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  • How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
  • Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
  • Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
  • How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
  • You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
  • Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.

The top 500 worst passwords of all time

From the moment people started using passwords, it didn’t take long to realize how many people picked the very same passwords over and over. Even the way people misspell words is consistent. In fact, people are so predictable that most hackers make use of lists of common passwords just like these. To give you some insight into how predictable humans are, the following is a list of the 500 most common passwords. If you see your password on this list, please change it immediately. Keep in mind that every password listed here has been used by at least hundreds if not thousands of other people.

There are some interesting passwords on this list that show how people try to be clever, but even human cleverness is predictable. For example, look at these passwords that I found interesting:

ncc1701 The ship number for the Starship Enterprise
thx1138 The name of George Lucas’s first movie, a 1971 remake of an earlier student project
qazwsx Follows a simple pattern when typed on a typical keyboard
666666 Six sixes
7777777 Seven sevens
ou812 The title of a 1988 Van Halen album
8675309 The number mentioned in the 1982 Tommy Tutone song. The song supposedly caused an epidemic of people dialing 867- 5309 and asking for “Jenny”

“…Approximately one out of every nine people uses at least one password on the list shown in Table 9.1! And one out of every 50 people uses one of the top 20 worst passwords..”

Lists the top 500 worst passwords of all time, not considering character case. Don’t blame me for the offensive words; you were the ones who picked these, not me.

NO Top 1-100 Top 101–200 Top 201–300 Top 301–400 Top 401–500
1 123456 porsche firebird prince rosebud
2 password guitar butter beach jaguar
3 12345678 chelsea united amateur great
4 1234 black turtle 7777777 cool
5 pussy diamond steelers muffin cooper
6 12345 nascar tiffany redsox 1313
7 dragon jackson zxcvbn star scorpio
8 qwerty cameron tomcat testing mountain
9 696969 654321 golf shannon madison
10 mustang computer bond007 murphy 987654
11 letmein amanda bear frank brazil
12 baseball wizard tiger hannah lauren
13 master xxxxxxxx doctor dave japan
14 michael money gateway eagle1 naked
15 football phoenix gators 11111 squirt
16 shadow mickey angel mother stars
17 monkey bailey junior nathan apple
18 abc123 knight thx1138 raiders alexis
19 pass iceman porno steve aaaa
20 fuckme tigers badboy forever bonnie
21 6969 purple debbie angela peaches
22 jordan andrea spider viper jasmine
23 harley horny melissa ou812 kevin
24 ranger dakota booger jake matt
25 iwantu aaaaaa 1212 lovers qwertyui
26 jennifer player flyers suckit danielle
27 hunter sunshine fish gregory beaver
28 fuck morgan porn buddy 4321
29 2000 starwars matrix whatever 4128
30 test boomer teens young runner
31 batman cowboys scooby nicholas swimming
32 trustno1 edward jason lucky dolphin
33 thomas charles walter helpme gordon
34 tigger girls cumshot jackie casper
35 robert booboo boston monica stupid
36 access coffee braves midnight shit
37 love xxxxxx yankee college saturn
38 buster bulldog lover baby gemini
39 1234567 ncc1701 barney cunt apples
40 soccer rabbit victor brian august
41 hockey peanut tucker mark 3333
42 killer john princess startrek canada
43 george johnny mercedes sierra blazer
44 sexy gandalf 5150 leather cumming
45 andrew spanky doggie 232323 hunting
46 charlie winter zzzzzz 4444 kitty
47 superman brandy gunner beavis rainbow
48 asshole compaq horney bigcock 112233
49 fuckyou carlos bubba happy arthur
50 dallas tennis 2112 sophie cream
51 jessica james fred ladies calvin
52 panties mike johnson naughty shaved
53 pepper brandon xxxxx giants surfer
54 1111 fender tits booty samson
55 austin anthony member blonde kelly
56 william blowme boobs fucked paul
57 daniel ferrari donald golden mine
58 golfer cookie bigdaddy 0 king
59 summer chicken bronco fire racing
60 heather maverick penis sandra 5555
61 hammer chicago voyager pookie eagle
62 yankees joseph rangers packers hentai
63 joshua diablo birdie einstein newyork
64 maggie sexsex trouble dolphins little
65 biteme hardcore white 0 redwings
66 enter 666666 topgun chevy smith
67 ashley willie bigtits winston sticky
68 thunder welcome bitches warrior cocacola
69 cowboy chris green sammy animal
70 silver panther super slut broncos
71 richard yamaha qazwsx 8675309 private
72 fucker justin magic zxcvbnm skippy
73 orange banana lakers nipples marvin
74 merlin driver rachel power blondes
75 michelle marine slayer victoria enjoy
76 corvette angels scott asdfgh girl
77 bigdog fishing 2222 vagina apollo
78 cheese david asdf toyota parker
79 matthew maddog video travis qwert
80 121212 hooters london hotdog time
81 patrick wilson 7777 paris sydney
82 martin butthead marlboro rock women
83 freedom dennis srinivas xxxx voodoo
84 ginger fucking internet extreme magnum
85 blowjob captain action redskins juice
86 nicole bigdick carter erotic abgrtyu
87 sparky chester jasper dirty 777777
88 yellow smokey monster ford dreams
89 camaro xavier teresa freddy maxwell
90 secret steven jeremy arsenal music
91 dick viking 11111111 access14 rush2112
92 falcon snoopy bill wolf russia
93 taylor blue crystal nipple scorpion
94 111111 eagles peter iloveyou rebecca
95 131313 winner pussies alex tester
96 123123 samantha cock florida mistress
97 bitch house beer eric phantom
98 hello miller rocket legend billy
99 scooter flower theman movie 6666
100 please jack oliver success albert

Original post

Another cross platform post

About a couple of months now I’ve decided I was going to make my transition from Windows XP to Windows Vista (A bit too late, I know) So I got my Windows Vista upgradable version to the Vista Business Edition. Since the ultimate edition looked a bit too fancy for me.

If you don’t already know, I’m a Software developer. which means I’ll be torturing my OS.. My (now ex) XP never complained and always found it’s way around. Which is why I loved it ever since I started using it, back in 2002.

Back to the flow of events, I installed Windows Vista and at first it was hideous. Until I reinstalled all the software I had and you can imagine how long it took me. To be honest Windows XP could have never provided the user experience I’m loving in Windows Vista. And neither could Ubuntu.

The design, the way things look on the desktop, the OS interactions are all just great. Until I heard about Windows 7 and started reading about the UI improvements in it.

At the end of hours honeymoon (Me and Vista) I started noticing the bad habits and the things wrong in Vista. The main issue with Windows Vista is not the bugs it has, it’s the way people are going to remember it since Microsoft has already rushed into Windows 7 so soon without considering Vista’s feelings.

One of the major problems I’m having with Windows Vista is it’s all new Address bar, the stupid navigational one. I mean I like the idea, ever since I’ve seen it in Ubuntu. But come on Microsoft you could have done it… Even I could have done it better for god’s sake. But no it had to be buggy. Most of the times I try using it when saving files (mainly images) from my all dear Firefox, it just can’t help me navigate past 2-3 sub-items so, it’s Computer==>C:==>Nothing, apparently Windows Vista thinks I have nothing on my drive C:. which is flat out stupid and I hate Microsoft for doing this to Vista.

The other issue that I’m still trying to figure out, or trying to figure out how the heck did they miss that up. to be more clear, it concerns my Wireless card driver. Yes, I use a wireless card (CWC-854) to be clearer (CNet hardware) and it was working fine when I’m using my home wireless network, Where I have a WPA2 secure network.

Recently I tried connecting to the wireless router at work, using WEP key. Again this thing worked on Windows XP like a charm, also on Ubuntu 8.04 and 8.10, But not Vista, I had no idea why Vista was throwing the “No response” error in my face. So I tried installing the latest driver software from CNet and guess what, the version I had installed (on my Windows XP, before upgrading) but I decided if it’s not really working why not give it a shot. And yes you guessed right, the older version worked fine and I can connect to both networks (home and office) with no problems what so ever.

But you see, the thing I’ve always hated about open source operating systems, such as Ubuntu Linux was the time wasted on trying to get your hardware to run right. But After this Vista incident I realized, it only took about 10 minutes to get all my hardware to run smoothly on Ubuntu 8.10

Hmmm, so on one hand we have Windows, a great OS becoming worse. On the other hand, we have Ubuntu a starting OS becoming better. Doesn’t seem like rough decision logically, but I choose Windows, I’ll always do.

More funny bumper stickers

  • I like you, but I wouldn’t want to see you working with subatomic particles.
  • I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die
  • If you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast.
  • Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
  • There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
  • I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  • Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
  • WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
  • You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
  • BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
  • So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute!
  • I need someone really bad… are you really bad?
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
  • To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
  • I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
  • The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
  • My kid had sex with your honor student.
  • Don’t hit me. My lawyer’s in jail.
  • If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
  • Help wanted: Telepathy… you know where to apply.
  • Hang up and drive.
  • Lord save me from your followers.
  • Guns don’t kill people, postal workers do.
  • Born again pagan.
  • God must love stupid people, he made so many.
  • I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.
  • Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  • Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
  • Wink, I’ll do the rest!
  • I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  • Ax me about Ebonics
  • Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
  • Boldly going nowhere
  • CATS: The other white meat
  • CAUTION – Driver legally blonde!
  • Warning: I intentionally run over small, furry animals.
  • Don’t be sexist – broads hate that
  • Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway
  • Heart Attacks…God’s Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
  • He’s not dead, He’s electroencephalographically challenged
  • Honk if you’ve never seen an Uzi fired from a car window
  • How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost.
  • I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be assimi… Oooh! Donuts!
  • If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets
  • If you lived in your car, you’d be home by now
  • I’m an imbecile and I vote
  • WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
  • What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull
  • CAUTION: I drive just like you!
  • If You Don’t Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
  • Impotence: Nature’s Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings."
  • Practice Safe Sex. Go Screw Yourself.
  • It’s Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.
  • "Please Tell Your Pants It’s Not Polite To Point."
  • Don’t Be Sexist – Broads Hate That.
  • Saw It… Wanted It… Had A Fit… Got It!
  • Constipated people don’t give a crap.
  • If you drink, don’t park–accidents cause people.
  • Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
  • My kid got your honor roll student pregnant.
  • To all you virgins: Thanks for nothing.
  • If at first you don’t succeed…blame someone else and seek counseling.
  • If you can read this, I’ve lost my trailer.
  • You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
  • The Earth Is Full – Go Home.
  • I Have The Body Of A God……Buddha.
  • This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me.
  • So Many Pedestrians – So Little Time.
  • Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
  • If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
  • The Face Is Familiar, But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name.
  • I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
  • If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
  • Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
  • Necrophillia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
  • Boldly going nowhere
  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
  • 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park.
  • Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

Best of Bumper Stickers

  • My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her…or something like that.
  • Keep honking while I reload.
  • If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.
  • Bad Cop! No Donut!
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better
  • I love cats … they taste just like chicken.
  • I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
  • Sorry, I don’t date outside my species
  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
  • Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
  • Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
  • I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car…
  • Tow-ers will be violated.
  • Montana – At least our cows are sane!
  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  • Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!
  • It’s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
  • When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
  • Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  • Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
  • Wink, I’ll do the rest!
  • I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  • When there’s a will, I want to be in it!
  • Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
  • If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
  • Diarrhea is inherited. It runs in your jeans!
  • Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
  • My karma ran over my dogma.
  • Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
  • Forget about World Peace…..Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
  • Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
  • Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  • We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
  • Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
  • Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. i souport publik edekasion.
  • We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
  • Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
  • There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
  • Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… till you can find a rock.
  • 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.