Mothers

  • Mona Lisa’s Mother: ‘After all that money your father and I spent on your braces, is that the biggest smile you can give us?’
  • Columbus’s Mother: ‘I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could have written !’
  • Michelangelo’s’ Mother: ‘ Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?’
  • Napoleon’s Mother: ‘All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.’
  • Abraham Lincoln’s Mother:’ Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?’
  • Mary’s Mother:’ I’m not upset your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.
  • Albert Einstein’s Mother:’ But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?’
  • George Washington’s Mother: The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye.’
  • Jonah’s Mother’:’ that’s a nice story. Now tell me where you’ve really been for the last three days.’
  • Thomas Edison’s Mother:’ Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed.’

Aren’t all our mothers just like that?

Bad Domain Names

Here are some bad domain names:

  • A site called “Who Represents” where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
    www.WhorePresents.com
  • Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
    www.ExpertSexChange.com
  • Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
    www.PenisLand.net
  • Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
    www.therapistfinder.com
  • Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
    www.powergenitalia.com
  • And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
    www.molestationnursery.com
  • If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
    www.ipanywhere.com
  • Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
    www.cummingfirst.com
  • Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their wacky website:
    www.SpeedoFart.com
  • Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
    www.gotahoe.com
  • The Royal Tit-Watching (Ornithological) Society Of Britain used the domain:
    www.Nice-Tits.org
  • Manufacturer of instruments for monitoring temperature, humidity and pressure Dickson didn’t think twice when they choose:
    www.DicksOnWeb.com
  • A holiday rentals company in Spain is called Choose Spain. Hopefully the vacation won’t be a painful experience:
    www.ChoosesPain.com
  • A company selling CAD software and Learning CDs was called ViaGrafix – quite innocent until a blue pill hit the market. The company is now called Learn2.
    www.ViagraFix.com
  • TeachersTalk: A community for teachers and student to discuss all areas of teaching… Even how to stalk teachers?
    www.TeacherStalk.com
  • The small town Winters’ local newspaper is called Winters Express and can be read online at:
    www.WinterSexPress.com
  • An eBay competitor was considering the name Auctions Hit, but found it to be a shitty name:
    www.AuctionShit.com
  • If you offer a scaffold erection/dismantle service, maybe you shouldn’t have a mammoth as your mascot and call your company Mammoth Erection:
    www.MammothErection.com
  • Things to do and see along New York State’s Canals and vacation regions:
    www.NYCAnal.com
  • The kids might look nice in their Childrens’ Wear, but remember:
    www.ChildrenSwear.co.uk
  • IHA Vegas‘ holiday rentals might have a special smell, since:
    www.IHaveGas.com
  • Odds Extractor – Online gambling resource or farmers looking for new and unusual machinery?
  • www.OddSexTractor.com
  • If you’re known as Big Al, why not call your online fish supplies store for Big Al’s Online?
    www.BiGalsOnline.com
  • SCA Tissue – Away-From-Home tissue products has a terrible issue with their name:
    www.ScatIssue.com
  • Even if you’re company is called Cumbria Storage Systems don’t even think about calling your website:
    www.CumStore.co.uk
  • Alter Scrap Processing part of The Alter Companies use the domain:
    www.AltersCrap.com
  • Anyone knows if Australian ISP WebOne does some moonlighting?
    www.WeBone.com
  • Don’t start a business in Cook Islands… Given that their TLD is .ck and they use .co for commercial domains, you end up with:
    www.budget.Co.ck
  • Sometimes Geodomains really aren’t a good idea at all.
    sydneytherapist.com
  • If you’re looking for Internet Protocol solutions, there’s always:
    ipanywhare.com
  • Andy wants you to “ask him a question” at his booty-licious site:
    askandy.com
  • How about the web design company Partners Talking?
    partnerstalking.com.au
  • Ben’s got a dose of real life advice for you – are you ready to take it?
    www.BendOver.com
  • The BEST way to sell your gently used Children’s clothes and items:
    KidSexChange.net
  • La Drape design and manufacture of panel bedspreads, quilts and duvet covers.
    ladrape.co.uk
  • Switzerland-based Swissbit – a global leader in the design, development and manufacture of DRAM and Flash memory products has a website within the swiss domain
    swissbit.ch

PayPal Freezes WikiLeaks Account, Chooses the Safe Side

In every disputed situation in this world, there are two sides and one of them is definitely safer than the other. PayPal, recently had to choose between being on the safe side or pissing off the US government and it chose the former.
With corporate brands like Amazon crumbling under the sheer pressure from the Government, shady PayPal is the last company we would expect to hold up against the government. This was not much of a choice. Rather, it was an imminent move in this situation.
WikiLeaks used PayPal to raise funds for hosting and other survival costs. eBay remarked on the shutdown by calling WikiLeaks’ activities illegal. The way with PayPal is- shutdown accounts first, talk later.
This is what the PayPal blog had to say,

PayPal has permanently restricted the account used by WikiLeaks due to a violation of the PayPal acceptable use policy, which states that our payment service cannot be used for any activities that encourage, promote, facilitate or instruct others to engage in illegal activity.

PayPal has done this before. Freezing accounts, deducting balance on charges of abnormal activity spikes, you name it. However, this time, we cannot blame it all on PayPal. This was imminent and WikiLeaks should have moved their balance else than keeping it all with PayPal.
(Via: The Guardian)

Tips for life

Here are some tips for life… A life of happiness and relief.

  • Be polite, people like polite people. People give free stuff to polite people.
  • If you have a default installation of windows XP, Press cntrl-alt-delete twice on login, type in ‘Administrator’ with no password. Boom. You’re in.
  • pay attention to details.
  • Girls are expensive.
  • Cars are expensive.
  • If you want to make an essay longer, do cntrl-’F’ search for “.” change period size from 12 to 14.
  • When receiving a call from a telemarketer, press ’9′. You are then added to that companies ‘do not call list 95% of companies do this.
  • Wait for sales.
  • If you get a brain freeze, press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
  • Peel bananas from the bottom.
  • When eating a chicken wing (With two bones) remove the smaller bone. No meat missed.
  • Don’t be rude to a cop who could give you a ticket.
  • If a cop asks you where you are going you say HOME.
  • Honesty gets respect. If you are respected you will get better opportunities..
  • If you need to take a midnight bathroom break, keep one eye closed to keep ‘Night Vision’.
  • Bikes are cheaper than cars, and the health benefits are good too.
  • Put that you were time’s 2006 person of the year on your resume. In 2006, Time made ‘Everyone” the person of the year.
  • Tapping on the top of a soda can will make it fizz less.
  • If you forget someones name simply say ” Sorry, what was your name again?” They may look annoyed, but once they tell you say “No, I meant your last name” boom. First and last name..
  • Restarting the computer solves roughly 75% of errors.
  • Always act cool and collected.
  • Always save a word doc as a .DOC so that it will work on office 2003.
  • inflammable = flammable.
  • Always leave a note.
  • Always take a minute to make sure you have everything you need, better than taking 10 to get back to grab it.
  • Save your work.
  • Listen to music if you are in a bad mood.
  • Write down ideas.

On Page SEO Optimization Techniques

Definition:

On Page SEO:

“On Page” SEO simply refers to the text and content on your web site pages. Basically editing your page and content so the Search Engine can find your webpage when a surfer is searching for your web sites particular topic.

History:

On Page Search Engine Optimization has been around the longest, since the beginning of search engines. Search engines used simpler less sophisticated technology a few years ago, and the world wide web was a lot smaller. At the time “ON Page” SEO Worked years ago, and it was basically an easy comparison. As the World Wide Web grew larger and larger it became more difficult for search engines to differentiate between your site and other sites. A search on “Autos” may return 100 million + pages that have the word “Auto” on it. So Off Page SEO began to take off as the world wide web and search engines grew in complexity.

On Page Elements:

On Page Elements refer to the HTML tags within the page. They include Heading Tags (<H1>), Title Tags, BoldTags, Italic tags on your web page. Below is an example of phrase “SEO Company” used in a Heading (<h1>) and Bold (<b>) Example:

SEO Company

SEO Company

SEO Company

Notice the difference?

In the HTML Source, The search phrase “SEO Company” Was placed between <h1> tags.

<H1>SEO Company</H1> HTML Tags

In the second version, It was placed between bold tags.

<b>SEO Company</b> HTML tags.

In the third version, it was placed between emphasize tags.

<em>SEO Company</em> HTML tags.

Natural On Page SEO:

Your Search Phrases should be emphasized in a natural way for both the visitor and the search engine spider. Do not “KeyWord Stuff” your web page, by repeating the search phrase over and over again in your webpage. This will often result in a Search Engine “Penalty” and move your sites ranking Lower in the results.

Unethical/Unsavory On Page Techniques:

 

There are several different techniques known as “black hat” or “unethical” On Page Techniques. Some SEO companies engage in these type of activities and should be avoided. Sooner or later the search engines will catch up to these unethical techniques and the likely result will be your site being demoted or banned from the search engines. We recommend the following unethical SEO techniques should not be used.

Negative ON Page SEO Techniques Include:

  • Avoid Using “hidden” or invisible text on your page for the purpose of higher search engine placement. For example the words/text for search phrase “Widget” in the HTML, the font color has been set to White. The background of the page is also white. Therefore the textual content is actually there, however the words are “hidden” from the surfer. This is frowned upon by search engines and frequently results in your site being penalized.
  • Avoid Using Negative Div tags. Div tags are division tags. Unscrupulous SEO services may insert them into your page with negative x/y coordinates to place content outside of the visible page for the surfer, but the text itself is in the HTML page. The search engine finds the keywords in the text, yet the surfer does not see it. Again a technique to be avoided and not recommended under any circumstances.
  • Avoid Cloaking or Sneaky Redirects. Cloaking refers to serving up 2 different types of content based on the visitor who is visiting. Is the visitor a regular web surfer, serve up this page. Is the visitor a search engine spider? Serve up this OTHER page specifically for the search engine spider. The other page being served up is typically garbled textual content with no meaning to a human, and is stuffed with various keywords and search phrases. Again this technique is not recommended and will likely get your site penalized or banned from search engines.
  • Avoid duplicate content. Duplicate content means you create one web site, with content on topic a, and then repeat the content over and over again on multiple websites. In theory you could create one website, achieve high ranking on it, and then clog up the search engines with the same content duplicated on multiple domains. Again this is not recommended and should be avoided.