Google MentalPlex: In case you wanted Google to help you look for something you, just think about it and click on the MentalPlex circle.
Google pigeon rank: Google claimed to use large pigeon clusters to compute values of web pages.
Google Copernicus Center jobs: Google placed an ad that they’re interviewing people for positions on their new center on the moon.
Google Gulp: Google placed an ad for their new drink to maximize your surfing capabilities. They also published a FAQ page.
Google Romance: “When you think about it, love is just another search problem. And we’ve thought about it. A lot. Google Romance™ is our solution.”. That should say it all.
Google Paper Index: For all Gmail users, this was a nice opportunity to get paper archives of all your selected emails. A stack of Gmail Paper arrives in a box at your doorstep, and it’s yours to keep forever. You can read it, sort it, search it, touch it. Or even move it to the trash—the real trash. (Recycling is encouraged.)
Google TiSP (Toilet Internet Service Provider): This service allegedly made use of your toilet and sewage lines to provide you with an 8Mbit/s wireless internet connection. The installation was pretty simple.
Gmail custom time: A tool for Gmail users where to set the sent time to sometime in the past (but not before Gmail was released). Oh and you only get to do that 10 times a year. There was an option to mark the email as read once the user received it.
Gmail Autopilot: An option in gmail to analyze emails, adjust the tone, punctuation according to user preferences. She would also terminate relationship with the sender of aggressive emails.
CADIE’s Blog: CADIE had a blog for a whole day was a few blog posts. Those posts has multiple links to CADIE enhanced services.
CADIE enhanced docs: CADIE provided multiple services for us humans (Write like a grown up, finishing of your sentences, fact checking and plagiarism checking) and those were just for documents. there were other great services for spreadsheets and presentations.
Google Chrome 3D: Thanks to the CADIE technology we have a 3D browser, Give it a try if you don’t believe.
Upload anything: Google Docs announced that you can upload anything to Google docs including your car keys, the remote control . You only need an internet connection and a Google account to find your stuff. Another feature was to upload your stuff to Google docs (like a piano) and download them in other places (very handy if you’re moving).
Please only answer with “True” and/or “False”. Failure to do so will disqualify your test and/or test your disqualification.
1. Describe the nature of the universe.
3. 7+19 = ?
3a. I want you in the pants.
4. True or false?
5. Write a sixty-line sonnet using only the words “My”, “her”, “was”, “should,” “bacon,” and “Jerry Springer.”
7. The answer to this question is “False”.
8. The Doe family was an ancient Amphibian race.
9. When Johnny’s head falls off, how many muffins will Bill not have?
10. The moral dilemma between doing what is right and what is easy.
11. The man reads the dictionary fifteen times, each time reading a different book. Explain your answer without using letters, words, numbers or symbols. [BONUS: What was the man’s name?”]
12. When did you have your computer last updated? You must not include a date nor a specific event that happened at that exact point in time.
13. If 3.14 is pie then why can’t we eat it? Explain this with cutting an orange in half, a rhyming word starting with the letter KAT, and then feed a dead homeless man this pie.
Bonus: write a 800 page essay on how I got this Question mark up side down (¿).
14. In 5 words explain the meaning of life, For extra marks use two words.
15. Using your answer from 14, explain Newton’s 5th Law in full detail without using the words ‘Newton’, ‘the’, ‘when’, ‘how’, or ‘why’. For bonus marks don’t use any of the following letters: A, E, I, O, or U, and sometimes Y.
10. Prove the non-existence of God. Then, using only words from your argument against the existence of God, prove the existence of God. You may create a God if necessary.
11. Seduce at least 4 emo children using only a computer, myspace and a webcam.
12. Remove the lead from your pencil. Turn this lead into gold. You may use both sides of the paper if necessary.
13. Using the principle of conservation of matter, what will the karat value of the gold produced from the above project amount to? What would the value be if you were to instead use 3 mangoes and a large potato?
14. Describe the entire anatomy of a muppet in terms of ratios of fuzziness to just plain annoying sometimes.
15. Describe what DTN means to you.
1092/71sts. Calculate the circumference of space (correct to 3 significant figures) using only your left thumb and some tooth floss. Using your answer, extrapolate the number of leprachauns present in the forests of Machu Pichu.
16. Determine which of the following sub-atomic particles is most partial to binge-drinking: Up quark, electron, photon
17. Use the Scalpel, the whiskey bottle and the liver remains (see question 2) to find the effect of hamburgers on birds. Note: Bats can’t be used, nor any other reptile.
18. Determine the difference between a seagull.
19. Explain the difference between plutonium’s atomic weight and oxygens atomic weight in a 39 page essay. Use only waffles and a sweatshirt for materials. No materials provided.
20. Describe in detail what this frog is thinking without using any vowels.
21. What is the gravitational pull of Christina Ricci’s forehead?
22. Why do ducks?
23. Two subatomic particles walk into a bar. Why?
24. Re-Create the death-star using a dildo and a red pencil sharpener. Bonus points will be awarded for the inclusion of a carrot-powered laser.
25. [This question is currently unavailable, due to lack of sandwiches]
25a. *Bonus* Use the carrot-powered laser that you have to destroy 3 random spacial features (black hole, nebula, star, planet, asteroid, etc.)
26. Using only a grape and a leaf, make a three-sided rock. For bonus marks, make a two-sided rock.
27.How long can you breathe underwater? Tell us when you fail and die.
38. Explain the use of an internal combustion engine. Use a rabbit to define x, and the chair you’re sitting on to calculate the probability of rain in the next 4-5 months.
39. If a man jumps at a 500 degrees angle straight at the ground at 50 miles per millisecond, how long will a flight to London take?
45. Calculate the proximity of Alpha Centauri to Earth in 5.2 million years. Use half an Oreo as your only measurement tool. Show your working.
-2. Explain why explaining religion in -1 word is possible, also use only a calculator to divide your answer by a 90 degree angle.
-1.Explain quadratic expansion using words only pertaining to the letter 4.
0. Define infinity as a whole number without using any numbers or symbols (n, x, ∞).
1. Derive the Euler-Cauchy equations using only a ruler. Discuss in detail the role these equations had on mathematical analysis in Europe during the 1800s and how they will help us in the future of technology.
2. Find the value of h in Diagram 1, diagram not to scale, no use of ruler permitted, show units of measurement.
2 1/2. Prove how TVs don’t work by only using an apple and a cat tail.
3. If one of the measurements in the triangle has an error bound three-eights of the difference between the other three sides of the triangle (accurate to one-half of a decimal place), locate the incorrect side and calculate a new value for h.
4. Using only an abacus, calculate the percentage error of the 90 degree angle at the corner of this piece of paper.
5. Deduce the letter Y and subtract 100 then divide the number infinity by this number. (show your work)
7. Explain in no less than 48 A4 sides on the subject of why the answer to isn’t 1. Show the true value for it and how you derived your answer. You must show all of your work.
If this is what you think an apple is, you are most certainly wrong.
10. If a chicken and a half lays an egg and a half in an hour and a half, how many waffles does it take to shingle a dog house? Estimate the answer and round to the nearest thousandth. Show all work on the margin of this paper.
11. Calculate the square root of yellow and multiply it by any secondary color. You may use a prism. Show all work using crayon in the correct color of the answer (accurate within 40 nanometres of wavelength).
12. Count backwards in your head from infinity, and show your thoughts on paper without writing any numbers, letters, symbols, or random scribbles.
13. Calculate the amount of peer pressure applied to get someone to drink in high school. You may use either Torr or PSI in your answer. But not e. That’s obscene.
15. Calculate all possible answers for the question: “How long won’t it take you to complete this test?” Using only an eraser and a protractor. Show all work, but only as far as manual labor.
19. What is the value of the hypotenuse when nothing really matters anymore?
20,3. Joshua is 85 years old. When he is walking down the stairs, there is a probability of 76% that he will fall. If he falls, there is a probability of 98% that he will break his spine. If he breaks his spine, there is a probability of 82% that he will be paralyzed. There is also a probability of 95% that this will happen one week before his birthday. He may also die (54%). Calculate the probability of this: Joshua falls down the stairs, does not break his spine, still becomes paralyzed, all 46 days before his birthday. Joshua does not die then, but dies later, on his birthday.
22. How many kittens could a woodchuck huff if a woodchuck could huff kittens?
23. If it is Thursday and the person sitting beside you is smoking a clarinet, then how many sevens can fit into an upside down 4? Use basic Trigonometry and the Pythagorean theorem.
24. Using only prime numbers, describe the relation between yesterday and tomorrow. Once you have found that answer, cook a hamburger with a blow dryer and sell it on the black market.
26. Choose at least two problems from this list: P vs. NP. Solve using only the slide rule provided. Once you have solved the problem, explain, in detail and at great personal risk, the effect that this equation might have had on the Renaissance period of Sierra Leone. All work must be typed. You may not use a computer, typewriter, or any other print-setting device.
28. If a=b, b=c, and c is a prime number, why does j have a dot at the top? Express your answer in scientific notation. You may only use ink obtained by cutting a calculator in half lengthwise. Points will be deducted for cutting the calculator into any fraction other than 1/2 or by cutting any way other than lengthwise. Explain your answer without using any recognizable characters.
29. If a starving African lion is released into a room where someone is taking an IQ test, and it leaps at an angle of 37 degrees towards the test-taker, how far can it travel? You will test your answer in a live simulation in approximately 47 seconds.
30. Write out, on the back of your paper, all possible answers for the equation x=x. All answers must be given for credit.
32. Write the correct value of infinity divided by 3 to 7 decimal places.
33. Using the Alternative Theory of Mathematics, solve for x, in which x is equal to the number of fingers on your foot. Unacceptable answers are: anything involving a decimal, fraction, or percentage, infinity, any number less than or equal to 0, or anything other than a number greater than 9000. Note: If you are a Neanderthal or a primate, skip this question- it will not count against you.
34. There are five babies. Differentiate this function in terms of pink.
36. Only using similar triangles, prove that the sky is blue.
37. If e is equal to Pi, and Pi is equal to blueberry, how much does (aj^2 + bj + c + j) equal in terms of Pi? Integrate any function using blueberry.
42. Why does 1+1 equal 2, 0, 10, 11, any number, and “window” simultaneously?
43. Disprove all Euclidean geometry with nothing but Euclidean geometry and a 38-dimensional tesseract. Show your work by carving it into the back of a live crocodile. You may not sedate the crocodile. Failure to do so will result in a total collapse of the universe.
44. In a linear function, let n=5 and m=mudkip. How many apples did the mudkip made minion, if a woodchuck could chuck seashells?