Month: September 2007

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old…… Continue reading Doctors’ Comments On Patient Charts

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we…… Continue reading World Wide Signs

John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer. In 21 states, Wal-Mart is the single largest employer. Jim Gordon, drummer of Derek and the Dominos (“Layla”), killed his mother with a claw hammer, then went back to finish a set with the band. One of Hewlett Packard’s first ideas was an automatic urinal flusher. Eric Clapton…… Continue reading True Facts

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.” There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”…… Continue reading “Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn” by Dave Barry

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us griping about you leaving it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and…… Continue reading Rules for women