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Things Not to Hear During Surgery

  • Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
  • Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop.
  • Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
  • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
  • Hand me that….uh….that uh….thingie.
  • Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
  • Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
  • Darn, there go the lights again.
  • Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy’s got two of ’em.
  • Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
  • What’s this doing here?
  • I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.
  • That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
  • I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.
  • Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.
  • Sterile, shcmerile. The floor’s clean, right?
  • Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
  • This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
  • Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
  • Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!