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Entertainment

Language (and Other) Questions

  1. Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
  2. Why is it called “rush hour” when your car barely moves?
  3. If a 7-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
  4. If it’s a circular drive, how do you get out?
  5. How do “Don’t Walk on the Grass” signs get there?
  6. Why does sour cream have a “use by” date?
  7. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
  8. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
  9. If we find life on Mars, will it taste like chicken?
  10. When a bug hits your windshield, what determines the color of the spatter?
  11. If it was only a three hour tour, why did Gilligan, the Skipper and everyone else, have all that stuff?
  12. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
  13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
  14. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with “Quit while you’re ahead”?
  15. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
  16. What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
  17. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
  18. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
  19. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
  20. Should you ever have plastic surgery from a doctor whose office is full of portraits by Picasso?
  21. If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
  22. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
  23. Can you yell “Movie!” in a crowded fire station?
  24. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

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