Categories
Entertainment

New Definitions

TRAFFIC LIGHT

apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches

DIVORCE

postgraduate in School of Love

PIONEER

early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods

PEOPLE

some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what’s happened

SWIMMING POOL

a mob of people with water in it

SELF-CONTROL

the ability to eat only one peanut

SALESMAN

man with ability to convince wife she’d look fat in mink

CANNIBAL

person who likes to see other people stewed

EGOCENTRIC

a person who believes he is everything you know you are

FOREIGN FILM

any movie shown in a Texas theater that isn’t a western

OPTIMIST

girl who regards a bulge as a curve

MAGAZINE

bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue

COLLEGE

The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone

EMERGENCY NUMBERS

Police station, fire department and places that deliver

OPERA

When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings

BUFFET

A French word that means “Get up and get it yourself

BABY-SITTER

A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers

TATTOO

Permanent proof of temporary insanity

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