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Top 13 Ways Hell Is Better Than Your Job

  1. Your coffee stays hot all day
  2. Never have to look very far to find the legal department
  3. In Hell, you know who drank your Coke in the fridge – Satan
  4. 30% fewer “Dilbert” cartoons in the break room
  5. In Hell, that devil-may-care attitude of yours comes in handy
  6. You get to spend more time with your spouse now
  7. No more wondering if the boss hates you
  8. Riding to work in a hand basket beats the hell out of public transportation
  9. Hourly dunks in searing pools of molten lava actually quite invigorating
  10. Your office: One free stale donut every Friday. Hell: One brutal mutilation of a “Full House” cast member every Friday
  11. Your job: Suit and tie. Hell: Pitchforks and attitude
  12. Ferocious reptilian demons can appreciate a good dirty joke now and then without threatening a sexual harassment complaint
  13. Microwave popcorn – without leaving your cubicle