Entertainment Geeky

Quotes for programmers

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. (Janet Reno)

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We’ve created life in our own image. (Stephen Hawking)

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. (Frank Lloyd Wright)

Training the workforce of tomorrow with today’s high schools is like trying to teach kids about today’s computers on a 50-year-old mainframe. (Bill Gates in 2005)

If software were as unreliable as economic theory, there wouldn’t be a plane made of anything other than paper that could get off the ground. (Jim Fawcette)

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork. (Sam Ewing)

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. ("Robert X. Cringely", Computerworld)

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. (Paul Ehrlich)

All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can’t get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer. (1925 IBM Maintenence Manual)

Technical people are better off not looking at patents. If somebody sues you, you change the algorithm or you just hire a hit-man to whack the stupid git. (Linus Torvalds)

How would a car function if it were designed like a computer? Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine, and the airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off. (Katie Hafner)

Considering the current sad state of our computer programs, software development is clearly still a black art, and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline. (Bill Clinton)

If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning — and the response would be, "We’re sorry, here’s a coupon for two more". (Mark Minasi)

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. (John F Kennedy)

At this time I do not have a personal relationship with a computer. (Janet Reno)

It’s ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know less than a compact disc. The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute. (Marvin Minsky)

For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match. (Bill Bryson)

Just remember: you’re not a "dummy," no matter what those computer books claim. The real dummies are the people who, though technically expert, couldn’t design hardware and software that’s usable by normal consumers if their lives depended upon it. (Walter Mossberg)

You have to ask yourself how many IT organizations, how many CIOs have on their goal sheet, or their mission statement, "Encouraging creativity and innovation in the corporation?" That’s not why the IT organization was created. (Tom Austin)

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. (B. F. Skinner)

Kirk: Do you want to know something? Everybody’s human.
Spock: I find that remark insulting. ("Star Trek")

The global village is not created by the motor car or even by the airplane. It’s created by instant electronic information movement. (Marshall Mcluhan)

Replicating assemblers and thinking machines pose basic threats to people and to life on Earth. Among the cognoscenti of nanotechnology, this threat has become known as the gray goo problem. (Eric Drexler)

Computers are merely ingenious devices to fulfill unimportant functions. The computer revolution is an explosion of nonsense. (Neil Postman)

Who cares how it works, just as long as it gives the right answer? (Jeff Scholnik)

There’s an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone. (Bjarne Stroustrup)

I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right. (Albert Einstein)

The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. (Bill Gates)

See, no matter how clever your automation systems might be, it all falls apart if your human wetware isn’t up to the job. (Andrew Orlowski)

That’s the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers. (Larry Niven)

On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog. (Peter Steiner)

We are a bit of stellar matter gone wrong. We are physical machinery – puppets that strut and talk and laugh and die as the hand of time pulls the strings beneath. But there is one elementary inescapable answer. We are that which asks the question.(Sir Arthur Eddington)

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. (Andrew Tannenbaum)

Standards are always out of date. That’s what makes them standards. (Alan Bennett)

Computer Science: 1. A study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the precision of the former and the success of the latter. 2. The boring art of coping with a large number of trivialities. (Stan Kelly-Bootle)

Once there was a time when the bringing-forth of the true into the beautiful was called technology. And art was simply called techne. (Martin Heidegger)

The computer actually may have aggravated management’s degenerative tendency to focus inward on costs. (Peter Drucker)

The buyer needs a hundred eyes, the vendor not one. (George Herbert)

Anyone who puts a small gloss on a fundamental technology, calls it proprietary, and then tries to keep others from building on it, is a thief. (Tim O’Reilly)

What a satire, by the way, is that machine [Babbage’s Engine], on the mere mathematician! A Frankenstein-monster, a thing without brains and without heart, too stupid to make a blunder; that turns out results like a corn-sheller, and never grows any wiser or better, though it grind a thousand bushels of them! (Oliver Wendell Holmes)

No, no, you’re not thinking, you’re just being logical. (Niels Bohr)

Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window. (Steve Wozniak)

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no one dares criticize it. (Pierre Gallois)

A computer is essentially a trained squirrel: acting on reflex, thoughtlessly running back and forth and storing away nuts until some other stimulus makes it do something else. (Ted Nelson)

Software people would never drive to the office if building engineers and automotive engineers were as cavalier about buildings and autos as the software "engineer" is about his software. (Henry Baker)

Since the invention of the microprocessor, the cost of moving a byte of information around has fallen on the order of 10-million-fold. Never before in the human history has any product or service gotten 10 million times cheaper-much less in the course of a couple decades. That’s as if a 747 plane, once at $150 million a piece, could now be bought for about the price of a large pizza. (Michael Rothschild)

Physics is the universe’s operating system. (Steven R Garman)

If patterns of ones and zeros were like patterns of human lives and death, if everything about an individual could be represented in a computer record by a long string of ones and zeros, then what kind of creature would be represented by a long string of lives and deaths? (Thomas Pynchon)

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft…and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. (Wernher von Braun)

The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer! ("C3PO")

Scotty: She’s all yours, sir. All systems automated and ready. A chimpanzee and two trainees could run her!
Kirk: Thank you, Mr. Scott, I’ll try not to take that personally. (Star Trek)

I’ve noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the release of MS-DOS. (Larry DeLuca)

A friend of the Feline reports that Big Blue marketing and sales personnel have been strictly forbidden to use the word "mainframe." Instead, in an attempt to distance themselves from the dinosaur, they’re to use the more PC-friendly phrase "large enterprise server." If that’s the case, the Katt retorted, they should also refer to "dumb terminals" as "intelligence-challenged workstations." (Spencer Katt)

The computer is no better than its program. (Elting Elmore Morison)

There is no doubt that human survival will continue to depend more and more on human intellect and technology. It is idle to argue whether this is good or bad. The point of no return was passed long ago, before anyone knew it was happening. (Theodosius Dobzansky)

Man is the lowest-cost, 150-pound, nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. (NASA in 1965)

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. (Mitch Radcliffe)

The essence of the computer is not electronic. Computers can be made from toothpicks and bottlecaps, or toilet paper and pebbles. (George Teschner)

IT is becoming a cost of doing business that must be paid by all but provides distinction to none. (Nicholas Carr)

Once the Invisible Hand has taken all the historical inequities and smeared them out into a broad global layer of what a Pakistani brickmaker would consider to be prosperity — y’know what? There’s only four things we do better than anyone else: music, movies, microcode (software), and high-speed pizza delivery. (Neal Stephenson)

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. (Isaac Asimov)

If there’s one thing that computers do well, it’s to make the same mistake uncountable times at inhuman speed. (Peter Coffee)

Life is a process which may be abstracted from other media. (John Von Neumann)

I don’t think there’s anything unique about human intelligence. All the neurons in the brain that make up perceptions and emotions operate in a binary fashion. (Bill Gates)

I bet the human brain is a kluge. (Marvin Minsky)

If you rely too much on the people in other countries and other companies, in a sense that’s your brain and you are outsourcing your brain. (Bill Gates)

Unless mankind redesigns itself by changing our DNA through altering our genetic makeup, computer-generated robots will take over our world. (Stephen Hawking)

I visualize a time when we will be to robots what dogs are to humans, and I’m rooting for the machines. (Claude Shannon)

We should sell bloat credits, the way the government sells pollution credits. Everybody’s assigned a certain amount of bloat, and if they go over, they have to purchase bloat credits from some other group that’s been more careful. (Bent Hagemark)

I can see computers everywhere – except in the productivity statistics! (Robert Solow)

Adequacy is sufficient. (Adam Osborne)

Technology happens. (Andrew Grove)


Useless facts ! Weird Information

  • The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
  • 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
  • The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
  • "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
  • A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.
  • The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
  • A polar bear’s skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
  • Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.
  • More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
  • Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."
  • If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
  • Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
  • The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
  • The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
  • TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
  • If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction
  • The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
  • A snail can sleep for 3 years.
  • China has more English speakers than the United States.
  • The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
  • Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 other million people in the world.
  • The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.
  • Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.
  • Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
  • Feb 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
  • Cat’s urine glows under a black light.
  • Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
  • Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. 
  • Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
  • If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
  • The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
  • On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
  • The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.
  • It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
  • A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
  • The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
  • Polar bears are left-handed.
  • The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
  • A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
  • Butterflies taste with their feet. Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.
  • An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
  • Starfish haven’t got brains.
  • Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
  • Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
  • The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
  • A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
  • There are more chickens than people in the world.
  • Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
  • The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
  • No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
  • "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
  • Almonds are members of the peach family.
  • There are only four words in the English language which end in "- dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
  • A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
  • An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.
  • Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
  • In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
  • A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.
  • A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
  • The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
  • In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
  • The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z, hence "Oz."
  • The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
  • The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
  • There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.



  • A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O’Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
  • At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.
  • At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?
  • At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.
  • At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.
  • At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
  • At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
  • At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
  • At a Towing Company: We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
  • At a Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
  • At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
  • At an optometrist’s office: If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.
  • At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.
  • At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.
  • Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
  • Car Lot: The best way to get on your feet….Miss a car payment.
  • Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.
  • Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: Hello. May we pick your nose?
  • English Sign in German Cafe: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hands Before Eating.
  • Gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!
  • In a Beauty Shop: Dye now!
  • In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
  • In a cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
  • In a counselors office: Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.
  • In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
  • In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
  • In a dry cleaner’s emporium: Drop your pants here.
  • In a dry cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
  • In a farmer’s field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but be aware that the bull charges.
  • In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.
  • In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.
  • In a hotel during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is day care on the first floor.
  • In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
  • In a Los Angeles clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.
  • In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.
  • In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
  • In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center.
  • In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
  • In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
  • In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
  • In a Podiatrist’s window: Time wounds all heels.
  • In a restaurant window: Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
  • In a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car.
  • In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store: 15 men’s wool suits – $100 – They won’t last an hour!
  • In a Texas funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.
  • In a toilet: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
  • In a veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
  • In an office building washroom: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
  • In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
  • In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.
  • In downtown Boston: Callahan Tunnel – NO END
  • In front of a New Hampshire car wash: If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.
  • In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.
  • In the offices of a New Jersey loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.
  • In the vestry of a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.
  • In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.
  • In the window of an Oregon general store: Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?
  • Inside a bowling alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
  • Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on Labor Day.
  • Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
  • Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
  • On a butcher’s window: Let me meat your needs.
  • On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)
  • On a desk in a reception room: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
  • On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.
  • On a fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
  • On a local plumbing company’s trucks in NE Pennsylvania: Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
  • On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.
  • On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.
  • On a Music Teacher’s door: Out Chopin.
  • On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.
  • On a plumber’s truck: We repair what your husband fixed.
  • On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard — bell out of order.)
  • On a restaurant: Try our fish just for the halibut.
  • On a roller coaster: Watch your head.
  • On a Scientist’s door: Gone Fission.
  • On a taxidermist’s window: We really know our stuff.
  • On a Tennessee highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
  • On an electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts.
  • On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store: Thirty-eight years on the same spot.
  • On an United Airlines emergency exit row instruction card: If you cannot read this card…
  • On another Butcher’s window: Pleased to meat you.
  • On the door of a Computer Store: Out for a quick byte.
  • On the door of a Music Library: Bach in a min-u-et.
  • On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut: No trespassing without permission.
  • On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant: Blackened bluefish.
  • On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. – Sisters of Mercy
  • Outside a country shop in West Virginia: We buy junk and sell antiques.
  • Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
  • Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or, do-it-yourself, $1.
  • Outside a Hotel: Help! We need inn-experienced people.
  • Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We heard you coming.
  • Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner.
  • Outside a radiator repair shop: Best place in town to take a leak.
  • Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
  • Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
  • Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
  • Sign at the psychic’s Hotline: Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
  • This was seen on a car being towed by a large motor home: I go where I’m towed to.
  • Trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: Don’t sleep with a drip call your plumber.


  • A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
  • A will is a dead giveaway.
  • Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
  • With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
  • Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
  • When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
  • A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
  • Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
  • He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
  • A calendar’s days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • A plateau is a high form of flattery.
  • The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  • When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
  • If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
  • Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
  • Acupuncture: a jab well done.
  • Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

Dog diary vs. Cat diary

Dog’s diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
  9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
  9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
  1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
  3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
  5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
  7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
  8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …