Month: July 2008

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website. The (sometimes brilliant) answers are apparently the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour. Q: (UK) Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how…… Continue reading Australian Tourists

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. -Robin Williams Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. -Roseanne Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. -Billy…… Continue reading Funny quotes

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet", which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of…… Continue reading Qantas Maintenance Reports

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. It’s always darkest before dawn.…… Continue reading Words to live by…

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." "I would not allow this employee to breed." "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be." "Works well when under…… Continue reading Actual quotes from Federal employee-performance evaluations