Corollary 1 – A sufficient condition for program triviality is that it have no bugs.
Corollary 2 – At least one bug will be observed after the author leaves the organization.
Corollary – A subtle bug will modify storage thereby masquerading as some other problem.
A ‘debugged’ program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage devices when there is the least available backup.
No matter how hard you work, the boss will only appear when you access the Internet.
[connection reset – error message 928 ]
Any problem, no matter how complex, can be found by simple inspection.
Corollary: A nagging intruder with unsought advice will spot it immediately.
The conclusion of the last two laws: Every non trivial program can be simplified to one line of code, and it will contain a bug.
So if your code is as clever as you can possibly make it, then by definition you’re not smart enough to debug it.
for any given software, the moment you manage to master it, a new version appears.
The new version always manages to change the one feature you need most.
Corollary: Marketing should not be located in the same city – much less on the same campus – as Engineering and/or Programming.
End-users’ Corollary 1: most application failures occur between the hours of 2 and 4 am on a Sunday night – with a 6 am Monday deadline for the project.
End-users’ Corollary 2: On the graveyard shift, there’s no Tech Support to hear you scream!
corollary: If you call another programmer over to see if he knows what’s wrong the bug disappears.
If it works, it’s production. If it doesn’t, it’s a test.
Real programmers don’t comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
A computer that has been on the market for 6 weeks is still usable as a boat anchor.
The best way past a pesky security feature is a 13-year-old.
A computer that has surpassed its user’s frustration capacity (FC) will accelerate downwards at 9.8 meters per second squared.
Whenever you install a group of plugins one by one just to find out which one can make your software work, you either haven’t gotten the right one, or have accidentally skipped the right one or it has become the last one installed.
Corollary: If its not their fault – Blame them anyway 🙂
Corollary: ACPI shutdown (sometimes faster to get to than the plug) does not always work.
Corollary: ACPI shutdown will fail most frequently when you run the risk of being caught doing something.
(On submission problem was insomnia… zzzzzz)
Walking on water and developing software to specification are easy as long as both are frozen.
Investment in software reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors.