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Maintaining A Healthy Level of Insanity

  • At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
  • Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
  • Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
  • Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
  • Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
  • In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"
  • Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
  • Don’t Use Any Punctuation
  • As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
  • Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
  • Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
  • Sing Along At The Opera.
  • Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme
  • Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
  • Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party because You’re Not In The Mood.
  • Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
  • When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
  • When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling
    "Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!"
  • Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."