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Best of Bumper Stickers

  • My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her…or something like that.
  • Keep honking while I reload.
  • If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.
  • Bad Cop! No Donut!
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better
  • I love cats … they taste just like chicken.
  • I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
  • Sorry, I don’t date outside my species
  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
  • Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
  • Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
  • I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car…
  • Tow-ers will be violated.
  • Montana – At least our cows are sane!
  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  • Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!
  • It’s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
  • When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
  • Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  • Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
  • Wink, I’ll do the rest!
  • I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  • When there’s a will, I want to be in it!
  • Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
  • If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
  • Diarrhea is inherited. It runs in your jeans!
  • Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
  • My karma ran over my dogma.
  • Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
  • Forget about World Peace…..Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
  • Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
  • Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  • We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
  • Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
  • Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. i souport publik edekasion.
  • We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
  • Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
  • There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
  • Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… till you can find a rock.
  • 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

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