Month: August 2010

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional… Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller…… Continue reading The truth

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out  to be an optical Aleutian . She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A rubber band pistol…… Continue reading Puns for the smart minds

When you get to the bottom of a stairway, your tummy takes one more step. You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts. You put mayonnaise on aspirin. Your blood type is Ragu. You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth. You ran away from home and they…… Continue reading You know you’re too fat when…