- Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
- Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
- Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
“Hi, my name’s Bob. I’m an alcoholic”?
- If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
- Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
- Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
- Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They’re both dogs.
- Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
- If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
- Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
- Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
- Who was the first person to go up to a chicken and say, “I’m going to eat the first thing this chicken poops?
California supposedly has the best drivers — but there are always exceptions.
These are supposedly real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders).
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Drive like minamoto.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.