Found in restrooms around the US: The best way to a man’s heart is to saw his breast plate open. * Women’s restroom, Murphy’s, Champaign, IL Don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die. * Men’s restroom, Murphy’s, Champaign, IL If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can’t take […]
Eyad SalahQ. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper) Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC […]
Eyad SalahOn a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating. “What seems to be the problem, Madam?” asked the attendant. “Can’t you see?” she said, “You’ve sat me next to […]
Eyad SalahThe following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.” “Take your hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” “If you run, you’ll only go to jail […]
Eyad Salah
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. During the final days at Denver’s old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long […]
Eyad SalahLet’s face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in France Quicksand takes you down slowly Boxing rings are square And a guinea pig […]
Eyad SalahSome useful phrases to use as an Evil Overlord as given by Steve Meredith. These humorous cuts were originally listed as useful phrases to use around work but they probably only work well if you are a Evil Overlord(TM). Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that […]
Eyad SalahInclude Your Children when Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian […]
Eyad SalahThree things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. Everything is gone; Your life’s work has been destroyed. Squeeze trigger (yes/no)? Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. Seeing my great fault Through darkening blue windows I begin again The code […]
Eyad SalahYour coffee stays hot all day Never have to look very far to find the legal department In Hell, you know who drank your Coke in the fridge – Satan 30% fewer “Dilbert” cartoons in the break room In Hell, that devil-may-care attitude of yours comes in handy You get to spend more time with […]
Eyad SalahThese are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every […]
Eyad Salah