Baby talk

It was recently discovered by a group of scientists, a way of decoding Babies' cries. Based on their research, most baby cries mean one of the following 16 things.

• I have my blankie, you have your caffeine. Enough said.
• Don't be jealous, but I think I'm in love with the ceiling fan.
• I know where the remote control is, but it'll cost you.
• To you, it's just an empty egg carton; to me it's PlayStation 2.
• Actually, I don’t mind sitting in a bathtub that I've peed in.
• Bang a screwdriver slowly and steadily into your gums. That's what teething feels like.
• Two words I'd rather not hear from you: rectal thermometer.
• There's no point in teaching me to say "mama" or "dada." My first word is going to be "hat."
• I've told you five times what cow says. If you can't remember, I'm not telling you again.
• There is no question that I can cry longer than you can listen.
• I'm not just wildly throwing my food. I'm exploring the laws of gravity, estimating mass, and testing wind velocity.
• If you wanted a good sleeper, you should have gotten a cat.
• Who is that baby in the mirror you keep asking me about?
• If my bottom is so darn cute, why is someone always trying to cover it up?
• Who are you two to tell me how important it is to sleep alone?
• What you secretly believe is true: I am much smarter than other babies.