Disorder in the court

These excerpts from court transcripts are purported to
be true. You be the judge! 
              
The following are actual statements made during court
cases:

From a defendant representing himself...

Defendant:  Did you get a good look at me when 
            I stole your purse?

Victim:     Yes, I saw you clearly.  
            You are the one who stole my purse.

Defendant:  I should have shot you while I had the chance.
          *****************************
              
Defendant:  Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.

Judge:      And why is that?

Defendant:  Because the Public Defender isn't
            interested in my case.
Judge to
Public 
Defender:   Do you have any comments
            on the defendant's motion?

Public 
Defender:   I'm sorry, Your Honor.  I wasn't listening.
          *****************************
              
Judge:     Please identify yourself for the record.

Defendant: Colonel Ebenezer Jackson.

Judge:     What does the "Colonel" stand for?

Defendant: Well, it's kinda like the "Honorable" in
           front of your name.  Not a damn thing.
          *****************************
              
Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness.

Have you nything to say in your defense?

Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?
          *****************************
              
Defendant  (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail):
           May I adress the court?

Judge:     Of course.

Defendant: If I called you a son of a bitch, 
           what would you do?

Judge:     I'd hold you in contempt and assess an
           additional five days in jail.

Defendant: What if I thought you were a son of a bitch?

Judge:     I can't do anything about that.  
           There's no law Against thinking.

Defendant: In that case, I think you're a son of a bitch.