Logic and the English language

Let's face it English is a stupid language.

• There is no egg in the eggplant
• No ham in the hamburger
• And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple
• English muffins were not invented in England
• French fries were not invented in France
• Quicksand takes you down slowly
• Boxing rings are square
• And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
• If writers write, how come fingers don't fing
• If the plural of tooth is teeth Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
• If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
• Why do people recite at a play Yet play at a recital?
• Park on driveways and Drive on parkways
• You have to marvel at the unique lunacy Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down
• And in which you fill in a form By filling it out
• And a bell is only heard once it goes!
• English was invented by people, not computers And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all)
• When the stars are out they are visible But when the lights are out they are invisible
• And why it is that when I wind up my watch But when I wind up this observation It ends