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The perfect job

  • My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.
  • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
  • After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it – mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
  • Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
  • Then, I tried to be a chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.
  • I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn’t cut the mustard.
  • My best job was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
  • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.
  • Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn’t fit in.
  • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
  • I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
  • So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
  • After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
  • My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.