Month: November 2007

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?”The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?”…… Continue reading Little Johnny joke

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.”What are you doing?” she asked.”Hunting flies,” He responded.”Oh, killing any?” She asked.”Yep, three males, two females,” he replied.Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?He responded, “Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.”

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Movie nudity is virtually always female. You know stuff about tanks. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. Monday Night Football. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. You can open all your own jars. Old friends don’t…… Continue reading The top 100 reasons it’s great to be a guy

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk,a carton of eggs,a quart of orange juice,a head of romaine lettuce,a 2 lb. can of coffee anda 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind…… Continue reading Why you should never question a drunk

This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I were…… Continue reading McDonalds Application