Learn Spanish

  • Cheese
    The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence. Pepito
    Replies: ‘Maria likes me, but cheese fat.’
  • Mushroom
    When all of my family get in the car, there’s not mushroom.
  • Shoulder
    My fren wanted to become a citizen but she didn’t know how to read so I Shoulder.
  • Texas
    My fren always Texas me when I’m not home wondering where I’m at!
  • Herpes
    Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got my piece and she got herpes.
  • July
    Ju told me ju were going to that store and July to me! ‘Julyer!’
  • Rectum
    I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!
  • Juarez
    One day my gramma slapped me and I said, ‘ Juarez your problem?’
  • Chicken
    I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.
  • Wheelchair
    We only have one enchalada left, but don’t worry, wheelchair.
  • Chicken wing
    My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.
  • Harassment
    My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her, honey,
    Harassment nothing to me.
  • Bishop
    My wife fell down the stairs, so I had to pick the bishop.
  • Body wash
    I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.
  • Green Pink Yellow
    When the phone green, I pink it up, and say, ‘Yellow?’

20 Interesting Facts On Obesity

  • Child-safety seat manufacturers are starting to make bigger models after a recent study showed that over 250,000 U.S. children age 6 and under are too fat to use them.
  • According to a study by the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University, nearly half the 4,000 people responding to an online survey about obesity said they would give up a year of their life rather than be fat.
  • Between 15 percent and 30 percent also said they would rather walk away from their marriage, give up the possibility of having children, be depressed, or become alcoholic rather than be obese.
  • Five percent and 4 percent, respectively, said they would rather lose a limb or be blind than be overweight.
  • From 1991 to 2000, the average weight of Americans increased by 8.5 pounds.
  • In 2004, the Federal Aviation Administration increased its estimate of the weight of the average male from 170 to 184 pounds.
  • Airlines spent $275 million on 350 million additional gallons of fuel in 2000 to compensate for the additional weight of their passengers. Now we know why the peanuts are no longer free!
  • Stand by your man: More than a decade ago, Manuel Uribe, now weighing 1,200 pounds (the equivalent of five baby elephants) and bedridden for the past five years, was abandoned by his wife because she was frightened by his increasing size.
  • Virgin Atlantic paid Barbara Hewson from Wales the equivalent of US$24,100 in 2002 as compensation after she was squashed by an obese person sitting next to her on a transatlantic flight. Barbara suffered a blood clot in her chest, torn leg muscles, and acute sciatica and was bedridden for a month.
  • Duke University Medical Center found that women and men who lost 10 percent of their total body weight reported a significant improvement in their sexual quality of life.
  • Obesity ranks second among preventable causes of death. Tobacco use is number one.
  • According to the Department of Veteran Affairs, of the 7.5 million veterans who receive their health benefits from the agency, more than 70 percent are overweight and 20 percent have diabetes, which may lead to blindness, amputations, and kidney and heart problems.
  • Two years ago, the Hardee’s fast-food chain introduced the 1,420-calorie 107-fat-gram “Monster Thickburger.” It contains two 1/3-pound slabs of Angus beef, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese, and mayonnaise on a buttered sesame-seed bun.
  • Mississippi is the home of the mud pie, Cajun fried pecans, sweet potato crunch, fried shrimp, and catfish. Mississippi is also home to the country’s fattest people—more than 25 percent of adult Mississippians are obese. Coincidence?
  • Recent studies have shown that obesity can cause you to lose sleep.
  • On the other hand, a lack of sleep may result in obesity.
  • It’s a vicious cycle.
  • Never forget your past: Aborigines and the Pima indians of Arizona developed obesity, type 2 diabetes, and hypertension after transitioning to a Western lifestyle.
  • If the entire morbidly obese population of the U.S. lived in one state, it would be the 12th highest-populated state, with more people than Virginia.
  • A 2003 study reported that 21 percent of all New York City elementary students from all income levels are obese.

An Apology

Hello there, whether you are a follower of this blog or not, you might have noticed that I DO NOT post any thing pornographic. But well for some laziness issues I don’t always host the photos I post, sometimes I just link them.

Today I got a new comment on a post that contained 1 image. I remember it was a funny one. But for some reason the original host of that image replaced it with a pornographic one. Don’t bother looking for it because I’ve deleted it as soon as I saw it.

Thanks (Mr./Mrs./Ms. Anonymous) for the notification. And I promise to watch out and start hosting my posts.

Thanks a lot

If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!


The End

Weird News Stories

  • Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
  • A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head.
  • A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film’s depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
  • The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
  • A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
  • Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle laboured 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
  • A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

The perfect job

  • My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.
  • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
  • After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it – mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
  • Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
  • Then, I tried to be a chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.
  • I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn’t cut the mustard.
  • My best job was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
  • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.
  • Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn’t fit in.
  • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
  • I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
  • So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
  • After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
  • My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
  • SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!