If Women Ran the World

  • Medical research money would be spent on developing new birth control methods for men.
  • Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
  • Men would be forced to purchase overpriced clothes every season.
  • Overweight men would be encouraged to wear girdles.
  • PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
  • Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
  • Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
  • "Ms. Magazine" would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
  • Men who designed women’s shoes would be forced to wear them.
  • Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
  • Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make.
  • Men would learn phrases like: I’m sorry, I love you, You’re beautiful, Of course you don’t look fat in that outfit, Go to sleep-I’ll take care of the baby, etc.
  • Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
  • Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars.
  • All toilet seats would be nailed down.
  • All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.
  • Men would have their wedding rings permanently attached so they can’t pretend to be single.
  • For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
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