- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
- Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
- You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
- The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
More funny quotes to live by