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Random thoughts

  • I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
  • I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
  • There is great need for a sarcasm font.
  • How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  • Was learning cursive really necessary?
  • Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  • Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  • I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
  • Bad decisions make good stories.
  • You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
  • Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
  • I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  • “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this thing I have– ever.
  • I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
  • I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  • I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  • My 4-year old grandson asked me in the car the other day, “Grandma, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?
  • I think the freezer deserves a light as well…
  • I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet, on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Light than with a Kay jeweler product.

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