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Restroom Poetry

Found in restrooms around the US:

The best way to a man’s heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Women’s restroom, Murphy’s, Champaign, IL

Don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.
* Men’s restroom, Murphy’s, Champaign, IL

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can’t take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
* Men’s room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

Beauty is only a light switch away.
* Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

I’ve decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
* Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
* Armand’s Pizza, Washington, D.C.

If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he’d say we were stopping for ice.
* Smoky Joe’s, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Remember, it’s not, ‘How high are you?’ it’s ‘Hi, how are you?’
* Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
* The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
* Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
* Men’s restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. * Bentley’s House of Coffee and
Tea, Tucson, Arizona

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
* Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.

Make love, not war. – Hell, do both, get married!

God is dead. -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. -God
* The Tombs Restaurant, Washington, D.C.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
* Revolution Books, New York, New York

A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.
* Women’s restroom, Dick’s Last Resort, Dallas, Texas.

JESUS SAVES! But wouldn’t it be better if He had invested?
* Men’s restroom, American University, Washington, D.C.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!

Express Lane: Five beers or less
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic’s, Phoenix,AZ.

You’re too good for him.
* Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom, Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills, CA.

No wonder you always go home alone.
* Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom, Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills, CA.

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
* Men’s restroom, Lynagh’s, Lexington, Kentucky

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